i blacked out hard core.. it was bad peeeed muh bed
Its kinda awkward hearing him say the food taste like ass considering what he did last night.
I just found puke in my bra..
She crushed my hand with the box spring last time, so it's all good.
STOP TELLING PEOPLE I PEED ON YOU
Make the kitchen floor stop waving. Im trying to lay on it
You were captain morganning on the laundry hamper and when I walked in you slingshotted a thong at me and started peeing. This all came back to me when I picked up some jeans to wear and they smelled like piss.
She is the epitome of a puke & rally. She picked a random hott guy at the bar & made him pinky promise not to leave while she took a power nap. She went & passed out in her friends car & apparently puked just outside the bar. She stumbled in & found the randome guy again & claimed she was golden. Made it to the after party & stayed up til 6 doing body shots off every girl she saw & hooked up with the random from the bar. I love her life
OMG CHARGE YOUR PHONE I NEED TO KNOW IF THIS IS A GOOD PICTURE OF MY ASS
Do you know how hard it is to be while you're high with a chuck Norris poster in the bathroom?
I'm about to turn myself in when I'm less hungover.
Over 14,000 people at my school and the kid I went home with last night is IN MY FUCKING LECTURE
It's only 10am and I doubt my day could get much worse. During my 9am meeting I had to sit between my boss who I fucked for my promotion and the guy he walked in on me fucking on the copier
Depends how u look at it. Half-full, half-empty, or how should I shave my pubes
I guess I’m only into threesomes at Halloween, because I just woke up next to “Marilyn Monroe” and “Joe DiMaggio” in their condo
Randomize
