Mel Gibson is dating a 24 year old
You're not Mel Gibson and I'm not 24.
nobody is as good of a wingman as me. i make whoever im with look like mark wahlberg during his underwear model phase
Medicore although I woke up with the business card of a Turkish lawyer called Mufasa...
the scent of your tears make me crave pizza
You should have hard cock pics on hand to send in the situation that you can't stop driving, pull out your cock, browse the countless pics I've sent you of my tits, get him hard and text a pic through. I mean, it's simple sexting ettiquette.
Mom looked at me, frowned, and said "it makes me sad to see you drink before noon.." So i told her if she doesn't like it she needs to stop waking me up before noon.
Just beer bonged tequila, broke into the hotel next door and got chased by security. It's spring break
You slid down a wall, tried to pull your cast off and yelled that casts were too conformist.
I have an ideal penis or slightly above ideal penis in every country that isn't ruined by the specter of communism
I just want you to know you're the worst sister ever.
If this is about me and your ex, it's not my fault she doesn't like men.
I hate csi yet I find myself watching a full marathon. I am also eating hotdog buns stuffed with barbecue chips and they are quite tasty
I'm studying. I have a really exciting life lol
It's hard to say that sarcastically after having sex in a movie theater
I saw some guy masturbating in the Burger King parking lot and I’m just fucking done
Noooo no no no no. She scares me. She means business. She wore a diaper when we went to the bar.
Listen, I love you but you cannot refer to your dick as the holy sister anymore
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