Turns out that my surprise "happy birthday" drop-in for my dad turned into a "my parents like afternoon sex a lot" realization.
I tried to make friends with the geese living behind Hughes. They didn't really like that idea.
Are you high?
My vagina bone hurts from grinding on that dude so hard.
Walk back down Church toward Mass Ave. Take a right and head for the guy in a kilt on top of the really tall unicycle. C u soon!
Can I interview you during sex or would that be weird?
The bag I'm bringing home for the weekend: a change of clothes, workout shoes, and sex toys, that's it.
He offered me a trade. He'll come sober to my parents 25th anniversary dinner if I let him tie me up for an hour.
Update. bondage is a lot harder than it looks.
Tequila Tuesday.. tonight is the night I defeat the liquor.
I have class at 8:30 and I am not bailing you out of the drunk tank again.
sidebar: i fucked your brother last night
i don't find him as attractive when he's dressed as himself...bring back Indiana jones and I would so fuck him again
He's my ex's boss. I'm not above sleeping with him for that fact alone.
i just teared up watching channing tatum in drag emerge from the fog on lip sync battle. it's gotta be PMS. either that or something is realllllly wrong with me.
I’m not closing myself off the to the possibility of making a bad life choice.
i believe in u and ur pee
I mean...if Marco gets pregnant, it is either the spawn of Satan or the second coming of Christ (neither of which I want in my life). So let's just hope that he doesn't grow a womb and that we don't have to consider either option.
Randomize
