He kept starring at my ass and repeating "Its Just a beautiful piece of artwork."
the lighter is IN the bong. I don't know what to do
I can do it, this is my punishment and I will accept it, plus id like to see the look on peoples faces when I throw up on them
luckily my workout playlist doubles as a masturbation playlist.
I think ur a lot drunker then u think u are. That girl has the body of a cartoon character and not in a good way.
Its Nebraska, I'm sure im not the first person to wake up hungover in a corn field.
Date idea: we should go to the store and buy all the different kinds of Lay's and eat them all
Explain the King Dong next to my face.
Wait do we still get bagels if no one got laid
I know it doesn't seem right, but sometimes, bagels are just flat out called for.
Dude, I came home and you were passed out halfway through the front door in your Minnie Mouse outfit... with a beer still in hand
Not a problem, sailor. I speak both autocorrect and typo.
Some days you ride the struggle bus. Other days, it gets a flat, the AC breaks, and you run over a bunny.
But really, someone with a penis give me attention before I start posting nudes on Instagram.
Well if YOU HAVE TO KNOW, we're laying across the street from the bar on that grassy hill trying to see who's she's with at the bar.
wait i saw you last night?
we found you ass naked on the couch covered in pillows.
Randomize
