i just want his dick, seriously i'm about to take trifiling lessons. we'll call my alter-ego blair and she will screw his brains out, girlfriend or not.
Woke up wearing just a scarf, the holidays are definetly here
The answer to your question is yes. I am wearing a star of david to the bar in order attract a jewish man.
Well at one point you put icyhot on your feet because you lost your shoes and it was snowing outside.
What kind of flower means "I want to have unprotected sex with you, preferably from behind?" because thats the message I'd really like to send on Valentines Day
its a saturday night. im home alone watching legally blonde, eating week old birthday cake and drinking milk out of the carton. so yeah im doing real well
I got a job at a micro-brewery. Now who made the bigger mistake, them or me?
He came in asked for the bathroom and came out 10 minutes later dripping wet took his redbull and left.
Just to be safe, you should be prepared to jump out of a second story window
To be so small, the mini-horses are exceptionally aggressive. And fast. Very, very fast.
Abort! Abort! He almost bit off a finger!
Cheez-its and a bottle of cab...for under $10 you could win this girls heart
Just saw the mall santa roll by on a rascal scooter holding a chic-fil-a milkshake and stop to chat up trio of cute 20-somethings. New hero.
If my dick was big enough to fuck the eye of a hurricane, I would.
You almost got us killed.
YOU’RE WELCOME FOR NAVIGATING YOU TO A ONCE IN A LIFETIME EXPERIENCE.
Really dude? drunk texts at 9 in the morning? its wednesday
Randomize
