i hope the fucking fire crotch burns his mouth
This girls a $30 bar tab from being bi
It's 3am, i just got back from ht e bars and registered for classes larteeeeee. History of baseball at 8am? at least ill meet the only stragiht gusy at NYU!
Do you understand how much easier life would be if fannypacks were normal
he said i ruined lesbian porn for him
I've been practicing for you. Including stockpiling medical supplies for curing hangovers.
If you come, call before you come in. I'm tanning my balls. Enjoy that visual.
I said I was going to sleep an hour ago. Now I'm making plans to get high with the guy who mows your lawn.
drunk her ninja stole one of the pizzas as it arrived and hid all of the pieces in a cereal box in the fridge.Genius.
I was getting sick from all the peanut butter I had to lick off
Stop bitching. YOU SHOULD FEEL BLESSED TO HAVE LICKED PEANUT BUTTER OFF OF THESE TOTTERS
I had a great time except for the part where you called another guy, told him you were in a cab - not on a date - and that you'd meet him at a bar in 15 minutes. but besides that it was awesome. Next time capping you at two glasses of wine
It would be like a dance party with a dick inside you. I think that's what Ke$ha wants for the world.
I told you, I'm taking a sledgehammer to your walls. Fuck your walls.
I'm Batman.
There's an owl outside. I feel like he's hooing directly at me.
We need a kiddie pool and lots of cornstarch
Randomize
