it was the worst sex ever in the history of sex. i mean ever. and he thought he was great. actually told me he was the best id ever had...what was i supposed to say? lol...i've had better times by myself. seriously.
i sleep in a fine layer of vodka and semen. i don't know that that would appropriate for a pajama rally.
I just turned in a 4 page paper spelling absolute as "absolut" every single time. I'm an alcoholic
Tuesday night just isn't my ideal coke binge night.
I guess at this point I should stop judging guys on their looks and more on their major and trust fund. Growing up sucks.
Just now remembered singing Trashy Women at the reception. Not karaoke, just sang along with the mic I stole from the DJ. All while still in my dress drinking champagne from the bottle
I'm so glad I got to use the word gutterslut before 11:00a today.
You insisted on calling your mixture of Bacardi & powdered milk "a Jamacian Facial."
I can feel your movements against the shared wall we are leaning up against. It makes me feel as though we are one. Queue Pocahontas song...
I just hope the day something happens to me my phone just dies, like literally died and will never turn on ever again. I feel like God owes me that much.
I knew I'd like her from the moment she supported me messing around with my co-worker on my lunch break
I put his pb&j sandwich in my bra and never looked back
It's like we're in an emotionally distant three-way and there's not even sex to show for it.
Well in other news, my nipples are healing pretty well but next time I get drunk and decide to pierce something please for the love of god stop me!
I think our maternal nature is best focused on grown ass men and cats.
Randomize
