Define "chronic" masturbator.
his electricity got shut off. i felt like a pilgrim searching for his dick.
So you threw a sword at me last night
I honestly wish I could say that I was surprised.
When I woke up in the parking lot today I decided it is not a good idea to hang out with you anymore.
They sext over her pic comments. Role playing as wolves.
See this is what happens when we don't have sex everyday
My roommate says its rare that you can be tear gassed before you lose your virginity so i feel accomplished in life
He answered his phone while he was eating me out and proceeded to yell at his wife for interrupting lunch...impressed or rock bottom?
No we don't really celebrate valentines day, we just use it as an excuse to drink 3 bottles of red wine and fuck for a few hours.
Got cut off last night cuz this chick had her hands down my shorts and was blatantly playing with my dick while I was trying to order. apparently that's "frowned upon"
This really high kid past out in the corner of the room holding a box of cheez its in his arm. My idol.
Cant leave im designed bacon maker you come here
Yeah but who says we can't be shitfaced and tan at the same time?
Dude.. She just busted into my house wearing a ski mask, a poncho, and thigh-high pink hooker boots and yelled, "THE CABS ARE HEEERRREEE!!"
Excuse me. I’m a mature responsible adult.
You got your arm stuck in a vending machine trying to get fruit snacks.
I had a cast on my hand and if I paid for my fruit snacks, I’m getting my fruit snacks.
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