thus making me awesome and them whores
Sign #1 this conference will suck: Ice breaker question, how many proud virgins do we have in the room, overwhelming response. Looks like I'm not getting laid this weekend.
after giving each other head, we had a really nice post-oral heart to heart. found out he lost his virginity in a threesome.
Things we need. Powerade. Water in fridge. Mixers for vodka. And reality checks.
I think she was eating a cup of ramen noodles while we banged, or had a seizure
come parachute off the vicodin airplane with meee
Three guys came up to me at the bar and started dancing on me, while screaming "Johnson's girl." That's the last time I sleep with a freshmen.
Yep and i guess after he came back from that he sat down next to me and i just put my hand right on his penis just casually like it was his leg
Yea he doesn't really know about any of this yet but my game plan is to keep wowing him with my vagina and cooking skills. It's up too future me to handle the rest.
She just lifted up her dress, screamed "This is gonna be a good one!" And pissed on the pole...
Unintentional and slightly frustrating adventures are basically all I'm good for. Expect heart palpitations, cheap food, and homeless men serenading us.
We don't have paper towels so I microwaved a spinach/egg sandwich thingy wrapped in toilet paper. Toilet paper. so that's how my day started.
You both snapchatted me that. Like, I just got a double dose of penis pastry.
I'm here. Help me get the salsa and bong inside.
Sundays were made for eating Ramen pantless in bed.
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