I just sneezed everywhere.....everywhere. Now no one will talk to me.
I got three cases. When they asked for id I said it was suspended for drunk driving.
so when he was about to cum, he screamed his mother's name and continued to pray for forgiveness. wtf
I fell asleep to the sounds of them banging in the next room. It was oddly soothing...
One question: Why is your trash can full of blood and pop-tarts?
omg. MEgabus. stoned.
Theres these two guys talking.
That's why you bone lesbian cage fighters and 45 year olds. To make life less boring.
Haha sweet. I'm being the Mad Hatter. I'll be drinking out of a tea cup all night. Or at least until I inevitably lose it, break it, or use it as a weapon.
You know you're getting old when 19 year olds you've met on tinder advise you that you should start looking for a wife and/or the mother of your children
It can't be easy when an alcoholic Russian is screaming to the entire dorm "he no get hard"
What has my life come to that I have to spank someone in morse code?
For me the most fucked up part of last night was that I know for a fact that you were sober. But your dancing was a close second.
Alcohol and IMDB don't always mix with 100% accuracy
I offer naked tickle fights and orgasms and you call it trouble. I call that Christmas.
Last time I was blackout at Cowbells I was running around screaming “WHERES THE BLOOOWWWW”
Randomize
