So on facebook, the pictures from my church mission trip are right up next to the pictures of my first time on E. Sorry Jesus.
So while she was giving me a lap dance I told her I quit med school. Just so she didn't feel like the only one who's made bad decisions in their life.
So bad news they put a private property sign on the tiger.
Until they install cameras or armed security i'll ride the fuck out of that jungle cat.
You are so lucky that drugs are going to kill you before I do.
My grandpa is giving me detailed instructions on how to fight a second floor bedroom fire from a ladder on the out side. Just in case
I'm gonna lurk in the mother fucking bushes and watch karma take him down like a gimpy gazelle.
Tornado booty call.. dedication
Reached a new low last night. Passed out. With my pants down. On the toilet. At ihop. Waitress had to wake me up.
I met his dad. Turns out he was a one nighter from the nurses conference in Vegas. Not sure how to handle this one.
Clearly, you already have. Both of them.
If you're mature enough to fuck him you're mature enough to tell him you don't want a relationship come on
He gave me twenty cool ranch tacos and declared, drunk, " Look, I do good"
We were watching sports center while I blew him so we could see the football highlights. I missed fall
I have a bottle of vodka wrapped in a leg warmer in my purse. This is what it takes to get through Christmas with my family.
got the runs at the club last night. wondering when it'll be safe to show my face again.
He wants to play improv games now whenever he gets drunk. Sometimes I just do not have the energy for that kind of a thing
Randomize
