IM INA KID IN KING ATURHTS CUNT!
A Kid In King Arthur's Court? Like the movie?
CUNT. CUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUNT
apparently it's not kosher to shit in a litter box when there's a line for the bathroom
i was trying to wake him up so i just kept touching his dick
one of the cashiers from Kroger is eating at my kitchen table and nobody knows why.
what's an appropriate "I'm fucking your grandson but I'm trying to hide it" outfit?
Your roommates boyfriend just approached me while I was working to tell me about the staph infection he got on his face. Where do you find these people?
this cock blocking thing really has to end bro...its one thing to tell jen i live with my mom.. its another to cut the brakes on my car..
Why the hell did you smack that girls beer out of her hand at the end of the night then buy her a double jack and coke for?
Its called bad cop laid cop.
Is "sorry I booted you out mid-fuck last night" a good icebreaker?
I DONT UNDERSTAND NIPPLES. THEY JUST POP OUT FOR NO REASON
Well somebody's had a rough day, nipple-wise
Do you count doing $200 of coke off his dick until 6am as a successful rekindling of our relationship or...
Mom called last night while I was at the bar and asked where I was. I told her I was on the highway to the danger zone while the guys were humming the top gun theme.
He is more interested in finding his sweater than he is in having sex with me. It better be a great fucking sweater.
MY GOD WHY DIDN'T I TAKE PHOTOS OF HIS CREDIT CARDS WHILE HE WAS SLEEPING
Pants are for mortals
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