There is a mermaid on oprah and she looks nothin like ariel
cutting back on calories before spring break by only taking shots instead of drinking actual drinks.
the diet of an alcoholic...
You were plastered and wouldn't stop telling this hot girl about your plan to graffiti a church in easter colored spray-paint saying that Jesus was a Zombie... she kept saying her father was a pastor...
Her little brother walked in right as I was finishing and was like "uhhh hey there's a lunar eclipse outside"
I mean its not the first time I passed out drunk at barnes and noble.
You know, there is no convenient place for your beer when you are on shrooms taking a shower.
I feel like I wont be making enough money to support my frivilous lifestyle of beer and mcdonalds
There seems no grander way to celebrate 420 than to smoke atop a mountain peak.
Remind me not to get naked underneath a tree I'm allergic to again.
From the same High Brittany who brought you such thoughts as, "Fuck, am I wearing shoes?" Comes High Brittany on a date! Stay tuned. This will be interesting.
When nipples stop being hilarious I'll stop getting them out in public.
I'm sort of afraid for my life tho. If the 4th of July can be the way it was a DMX show is capable of anything
you know you're in deep when you watch fear and loathing in las vegas and every damn scene is relatable.
you were on a whole other level. you went home with him because he said "you got some light ass eyes"
I think the hamburger goblin stole my cigarettes. I left my purse behind her table and they're not in it now.
Randomize
