Jake died.
WTF????????? That's how you tell me????
Oops typo. Jake cried.
I fucked her to her "thinking of him" playlist. Sucks to be that guy haha
There is a guy dressed as Captain America in the theatre. I want to make out with him even though I have no idea what he looks like. Wish me luck, I'm going in.
Found him fucking some random drunk chick in the bathrrom at the blue lep with a beer in each hand. had to give him props.
The last thing I remember is your grandma calling me a pussy and taking my shot for me. Your family is awesome.
We stayed up until 4:20 AM. The next thing I remember was waking up at 4 PM, like my internal alarm clock knew.
How was the party? Lets put it this way: "He wants her dick" was a factual sentence stated last night.
Stripper just cleaned my glasses with her nipple...
I feel like she is getting all kinds of bacterial exposure that may otherwise have been avoided had she been wearing pants
I think I need to see a chiropractor after giving that blow job
What happened to no more shots?
It went out the window just like my dreams
There's a fine line between kinky and serial killer
you are the only girl i know that would bring a plate of cookies to a hook up. but they were awesome. thanks. next time cupcakes?
He kept saying "Ayyyyyyy" during foreplay... during sex.... during everything! It felt like I was having sex with friggin Fonzie from Happy Days!
What the fuck was I thinking eating an entire tub of potato salad on acid. My stomach today bro
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