Don't cheat on me with the blonde bimbo religi freak
I wouldn't touch her with a ten foot pole
She's blonde
dude i woke up to 20 missed calls from you, 3 from a blocked number and had 13 voicemails that all said "send me a picture of your tits."
so im guessing thats a no.....
do you ever lay in the bath and watch the blood hit the water?
EWW. Don't discuss your period with me. You can go shave your back now.
went out last night and woke up on the bathroom floor again, thinking about just moving my bed in there.
i deep throated a ruler to see what my limit was...
You ended at least 6 stories with "and that's why I don't snort coke anymore"
The lawn was on fire, but I fixed it.
You stuck your head out the window to puke and got hit with a mailbox.
Getting sheets for college, what is the thread count that shows the least amount of cumstains?
630.
Except there is my pee all over the walls now
We play beat the clock every morning. When the alarm goes off, she hits snooze and drops her panties. If I can't finish in time to beat the snooze, she jumps in the shower and I've gotta jerk off.
HIS BALLS ARE HEAVEN SENT FROM THE VELVET ANGLES.
It takes a special friend to go vibrator shopping with
Yes. It does.
Self reach around competition is what the Olympics has been missing all along. A true test of athleticism.
I love waking up to reeses ice cream. But I DONT love waking up to it all over my cat. I blame you.
Randomize
