He bought me ice cream and then I gave him a bj
I think that's fair trade off
It was laundry day and I was wearing last xmas undies. he took one look and went...you's a ho, ho, ho. my response you ask? for less dough, dough, dough. I'm a slut.
with a sacreligious after taste.
is it considered a "problem" when you find a pickle slice in your bed in the morning or is it like a "super-awesome bonus"?
She told me to stay away from him cause apparently he fucks anything that walks. clearly i responded with..."i walk"
Once two people had broken bones it had become a bulk hospital trip so we took the party bus
So I had a crappy evening so the fat girl in me says eat and cry and watch something sad. The cool girl in me says don't eat go run. So I'm watching family guy and doing crunches w a pickle in my mouth
Gross
AN ACTUAL PICKLE
The topic of sex in the jamba banana suit has come up on multiple occasions. We're just waiting for a moment to try it out.
I'm shoveling snow with a camel-pack full of beer in a blizzard. I love snow days as an adult!!!
It was great. He never spoke.
That's not why it was great, just that's all I remember.
Made out with some dude at the bar last night. Was fun until he thought bohemian rhapsody was by The Who
Good news y'all just straight up snorted 2 adderall and I'm not a real being on this plane of existence anymore and I'm ready for finals
You squatted and peed on the living room floor while maintaining eye contact with Sebastian
We drunkenly made out once four years ago and then he immediately vomited and honestly I've never gotten over him
Couch. On fire.
My co-worker accidentally texted me regarding the threesome him and other one are planning.
Randomize
