ok watching intervention on tv. when i hit rock bottom - i wanna be THIS chick.
People are suprisingly accepting of someone doing a walk of shame in a toga...
5am is far to early to be on jagerbomb number 6 right now
Check Facebook. Random dude tagged us in photos from last night dancing at Denny's while eating a sampler platter. 1. How does he have our names, and 2. You said we ate at Tbell.
and he should realize what an amazing ex i am for encouraging my best friend to hook up with him
Your wedding's just one more day in my life I can't wear sweat pants.
my sober ride is dancing w/ a fat girl. i might be awhile
I would take a bullet for Beyonce's baby
A drunk hobo just gave me a fist bump. Because I know what a womb is.
Worst luck of my entire life. Came in my own mouth
Ugh. Lets go crawl into a dairy-gluten-chlamydia free hole somewheres.
Leave it to me and my dad to puke on the same guy at the same bar 25 years apart
I'm definitely not going to be able to fuck him high. I won't be able to not laugh at his man boobs
HIS DICK ISNT BIG ENOUGH FOR HIM TO BE THAT PROUD OKAY
That said I did get head on the roof of a 15 story building which, regardless of quality, is still cool
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