Her vagina smelled like hockey gear.
Boobs. All I remember is boobs.
Who's your beautiful friend? Please include the words "Straight", "Single", and "Legal" in your response.
I told her I was team Edward. I haven't gotten laid that easy since I told your sister that I had cancer
I got a hennah tattoo of my room number on my arm...I love spring break in Mexico!
I stayed up for hours making sure you didnt pass out in a mountain of your own puke. But when I heard you yell AWWWW FUUCCKK, somehow I knew everything would be ok
why does my status of facebook already read REHAB 2011
I dont care what I am for halloween, as long as i'm not a father after
all i wanna do is drink skittled vodka, fuck my gf, and pass out in my neighbors hot tub naked
She interrupted us having sex in the tent by threatening to kill us if we "got cum on the lasanga."
Well he just said "there's glass on the floor and it's okay I'm only bleeding out of my esophagus" so yes he's tripping
As the cops are taking us away I see the strippers taking our DD backstage.
I cant believe you made me read bad furry sexts
also, I think I lit my hair on fire when I got home..
he said "i'm the cat whisperer, watch". he took a hit from the pipe, grabbed the cat and blew the smoke in its ear. he grinned and the cat started purring. it was magnificent
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