do you know why "how to shave your balls" is bookmarked on my computer?
We did like every position then did it again this morning. Something about him being the little boy i used to make sand castles with just made it way hotter.
well done
I just saw a guy wearing a tuxedo shirt under his overalls. That is true iowa class right there
my grandma was just praying before dinner, and before she could finish my gpa lifted his glass and said 'and here's to avatar!'
Have you ever looked at the 750mL bottle of wine on the seat next to you knowing that it's just not going to be enough?
Each and every day.
She said she couldn't sleep with a guy who had blood stains on his ceiling. I tried to explain it wasn't my blood, but she still left :(
She tried to sit inside the drawer to my dresser and when it broke, she burst into tears calling herself fat. Too high to deal with this
I send him pictures of my tits whenever I feel like he's paying too much attention to his girlfriend.
Can vaginas get frostbite?
Only in my life does a conversation about Hanukkah lead to sexting
He gave me a script of norcos and touched my balls so overall it's been a good day.
He was having this drunk emotional breakdown and I was just trying to cheer him up but instead fell and dumped the whole pickle jar on me
It was cool though because he was fine afterwards and somehow I convinced them I did it on purpose...
I wish there was a morning after pill for dominoes.
The fact that I’m not married yet means there are millions of lucky girls out there who have dodged a bullet
If the amount of time the owner spent looking at my tits is any indication, I’d say I can probably sleep my way to the top
Randomize
