Just saw the pics you left in my phone. thanks for reminding me that last night was not a dream.
I sat in the mc D drive thru and refused to move till the chick gave me her number
if we break up, who will get the dealer?
Totally forgot this... How weird was it when they were licking our faces
I want an alcoholic time machine so we could skip to new years eve
my favorite part of the night was when I was in the bathroom frantically trying to get my cat whiskers and nose off to make hooking up less awkward
Im so tired of dysfunctional exs fucking up my relationships with future dysfunctional exs
I guess I realized I had a problem when I ordered 4 shots and told the bar wench to pour them all into 1 glass
Cuz I feel like I ate the whole candy isle at 7/11 last night and chased it with rum
You pretty much did tho
Never thought an ATM max withdrawal could be such a good thing...
Just test drove the kilt for Justin's wedding. NEVER. WEARING. PANTS. AGAIN.
How did the date go? No fake eyeballs this time?
I used an explanation of Walking Marriages in the Mosuo Culture to successfully negotiate an open relationship. That Anthropology degree is finally starting to pay off.
Grrr. Fine. You get oral for being unwrong.
I ended up snorting coke while wearing a Bavarian dress and I feel like I need to reevaluate my life
Randomize
