I'm a grown ass woman and I'm sitting in bed eating pizza at 4:30 a.m. BFD, right?
I understand how i shit in my shoes, but explain why you were wearing them.
he started fingering my stomach rolls instead of my vag... am i really that fat?
turkey basters and jungle juice, is that really the whole shopping list for new year's?
You were hugging the toilet and shouting "don't let fatty eat me" through the closed door.
did we cross streams again? the only thing I remember is seeing a dick
definitely fulfilled the lesbian status quo and fucked her in the back seat of my prius
I bet. I bought a surfboard and a kite and filled my camelback with vodka-tonics. Let's do this
I have reached the point in my life where I realized this is what I'm going to do for the rest of my life. Eat, shit , bar, drink, drank, drunk.
That was the #1 scariest moment in my life. I have full trust in you, I let you bite my penis for god sake.
You went through my pantry and left one of everything in the box. One cracker. One cheesit. One piece of cereal. I really fucking hate you.
Apparently I'm short enough to sit on his lap and fuck him while he is driving because the cop didn't notice.
okay. well, yeah. i'm a mess and a half. this shit is not what dumbledore died for.
I fucking hate tequila. Tequila makes me hate pants.
he asked me where I was going to school, and then we started having sex, and I answered his question forty five minutes later after we were done. It was the chilliest thing ever.
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