I know its small, but please -- stop calling it my "weenis".
we made out on top of his cat.
guess what. just found out I had mono. no wonder alcohol didn't taste good on nye
You left a trail of sequins from your dress incase we got lost
I really don't think you should have 'baptized' your tattoo in vodka the same night you got it.
I don't know where Tiffany is but I just saw her shoes in the bar lost and found
Thoughts of banging the girl who just opened my beer with her teeth?
you should be awarded for your promiscuity.
i really should.
Ps you missed quite a show. I was for some reason whipping my hair back and forth and head butted the tip jar. It shattered and now I have a circular bruise on my forehead. All the bartenders hit the floor to get all the quarters.
About to go get a free burrito for kissing a bald man in public
We christened the whole apartment and fucked on the balcony. It was amazing. I'm 100% sure downtown heard me climax. Now we can unpack.
The sex may be the only reason I like him. I've confused the multiple orgasms for feelings.
I couldn't read the menu. I ordered the first thing I was able to read. Don't think I ate anything. Left $20 on the table.
Thx for last night. I've never had so much fun while being told my life decisions are questionable at best.
If there's a nuclear war you can come over. I'll feed you soup and you can rig up car batteries to power the coffee pot and toaster. We can grow tomatoes and chickens.
Randomize
