Having a conversation over beer pong about a threesome I participated in...it's only Wednesday
last night i found out that about 5 of my friends audio recorded us having sex through the bedroom door, then auto tuned it in the tpain app on his iphone.
Do I buy ice cream sandwiches or a 40? these are the difficult life decisions I am faced with.
I was thinking of baby names while I was giving him a blow job
Ok. I'll enjoy the quiet (translation: I might be naked, call ahead if you come home tonight)
She loves introducing her friends to my foreskin.
Your children are clinging to me like my teets are full of bountiful milkiness. They're driving me nuts. I felt my uterus shrivel up.
I find it weird that you'll let me in your vagina, but not your house
Sorry, that was mean and I didn't mean it. I'm just mad at condoms
On your day off do you wanna get wine drunk and take a few episodes of Jerry Springer way too seriously with me?
What shade of lipstick clearly states, I'm only attending this wedding for the drugs and groomsmen?
We were looking everywhere for you and I finally found you in the closet talking to a build a bear.. So I gave you and myself another drink
How much of a thot would I be if I put this pic up? On a scale of thot-ish to Queen of Thotlandia
Should I bring my 4 pairs of bunny ears? Or is that too weird?
4 pairs might be a bit much
Jenna is yelling bc of the condom wrappers and cum stains. This is the 3rd and last time you have sex in my roommates bed.
Randomize
