i am watching brooke knows best right now and hulk is totally dating his daughter's look a like. it is gross and disturbing.
the most pressuring question is, why are you watching brooke knows best?.
where are my pants?
you were passing out with two blankets and the person next to you was cold so you gave him your pants to keep warm
I told you I was good to drive
dumbass I drove... you sat in the passengers seat and steered with a paper plate
we usually just have an Easter beer hunt and never end up at church anyways
what started as sign language exam pre-drinks to calm the nerves turned into me waving at a deaf woman for 20 minutes
Word is he has some crazy hawaiian STD
It would be one hovered percent delicioui
apparently i was cut off before i even walked in
The key to alley sex is drunkeness.
Exact words that were just spoken as she was on her 6th, yes 6th piece of bread: "I'm only eating the soft and chewy inside of the bread-I am taking the crust home to feed my turtles"
a pizza costume came into my possession last night. needless to say i showed up to his house wearing only the pizza, shouting "delivery" into his window.
I know what you meant. If you want babies in time for your birthday, we gonna need either a time machine or a ski mask.
He ate me out while I finished season 1 of Stranger Things. If that's not a modern day relationship goal, then I don't know what is.
A legendary roster of degenerates has been assembled.
All I remember is talking the cops into calling us a cab instead of giving us PIs while trying to wake up your passed-out-on-a-bench ass.
Randomize
