I feel kinda awkward using the Sesame Street themed Google to search for hot young pussy...
Yeaaah, so cabbie laughed at me, and said, "rough nite? Let me find you some music" . apparently OPP is the appropriate ride of shame soundtrack.
If I interpreted our horoscopes correctly...you should be coming home with an 8 ball. Just saying.
It was so weird. She left to go to the bathroom and her older sister leaned towards me with a creepy smile and said, "You don't deserve her" and then continued to stare at me with a crazy expression for the rest of the evening.
That's kinky shit dude.
Mixed review. I fucked her in the river, but then we were assaulted by ducks.
On the bad side I puked, but on the bright side I puked lettuce which was a new experiance
We have started to decorate penises.
I woke up in my living room, on the floor, wearing nothing but a fur coat?
You were typing for me while I was hyperventilating into a paper bag on the floor.
I don't question myself. That's what I have you for.
I'm honored.
It's amazing the amount I can accomplish with a glass of wine in my hand.
My niece I'm babysitting left earlier to stay the night with her friend. I got ditched by an 8 year old.
I just woke up butt-naked in bed with a guy I've never seen..I reached into my bag next to the bed to get my phone and found a bag of shrooms, a handle of vodka, and 600 dollars that I've never seen. what do I do
enjoy it.
He woke up wondering who broke in and rearranged all the furniture. He reviewed 11 hours of security footage before I told him he did it while whiskey-drunk.
wow wtf man i was the friend bailing you out of jail with 500 cash and you didnt have the common courtesy of waking me up for class when i passed out drunk and naked in the bath tub
Randomize
