But do you think a lot of ppl use facebook as a masturbation supplement to porn?
Let me make clear that I am not a facebook masturbator
I just found out how hard it is to put together a fake Christmas tree with a hangover.
You broke a window with your face. I don't think the landlord will be as impressed as we were.
I interrupted her conversation with, "are we gonna fuck yet?" and she immediately got naked. thanks for the blind date
There was a gorilla playing an accordion outside of my last final. I miss college already.
Woke up to a bouquet of flowers in my toilet bowl. Drunk hubby loves me.
So here i am dipping ice cream in my vodka and watching the bad girls club on demand. This is not ok
Sorry about sucking tonight. Drunk truck fucking is apparently not my strong point.
I'm gonna have sex with my clothes on and I'll know everyone there so I'll be in my comfort zone
My sister's exploding appendix just cock blocked me...
My professor just paused class to answer a phone call from her dog. Im taking shots before this class from now on.
There's a rash on my genitals that would like a word with you.
I'm going to draw something on my chest and I need to incorporate my nipples. Any ideas?
I swear 2020 just keeps getting worse and worse
Want to help me interview candidates to replace my Cub/Boy Toy when he leaves for grad school next month?
Randomize