You did that once after drunk driving from a photo shoot
That was very cool/italian of you
Which brings me to my next point, how come italians are so well adapted to drunk driving
I just found a dead bug in my nose. if that's the worst thing up there im considdering myself lucky.
so we told my parents we were going trick or treating. got high as shit at some playground. and then bought our own candy so we looked legit when we got home.
Do you remember that time on the drunk bus when I kept thanking the bus driver for serving our country?
Dude you don't even know. I spilled the tequila and it took 4 people to stop me from drinking it off the table.
The bartender from Thursday remembered me... And gave me a FLAMING BUCKET of alcohol.
I drank all the drinks. And jump off roof. Yay
my longitudinal study of the long term effects of sloth and alchol-intake is nearly complete.
so you are graduating this semester.
Things I want for my birthday 1. a Chipotle grade tortilla steamer 2. a new liver
The problem with having a roommate is that you are forced to answer the age old question "Are you okay?"
He's like a unicorn and I just wanna domesticate him
Omg she's a human wrecking ball. I love it.
I am to reach this level of casual destruction.
I have successfully trained your dog to bring me pudding cups!
do you think that identical twins have the same size junk? i just want to know your opinion before i find out.
She ripped her shorts off and yelled "VAGINA TIME!"
Randomize
