that drag queen yelled at him and touched me to make him jealous and said things like this is what a real man feels like. it was a thrill.
Someone obviously heard us on their way to class. They stopped at my door and started singing afternoon delight.
I just noticed that my shirt smells like coffee after eating out a Barista
we got hammered off table wine and i ended up biting my acrylic nail off so i could finger his butt.. ill never look at valentines day the same
his life revolves around getting high and answering people on yahoo answers. he's perfect for you.
No no no...you park the car, stick your tongue down his throat, slip your number in his pocket, invite him to insomnia, and THEN LEAVE. You go from awkward to epic in a matter of seconds.
if I open my eyes, my head will explode. that hungover.
I want to get back to junior year skinny- without all the drugs.
Fucking shoot me with this y'all shit. You were in Texas for 2months you do not have an accent Madonna
I can't believe i just offerred a guy a burrito and head, and got turned down. Officially celibate now.
I know how to kill a man with nutmeg and a sword. You in?
Or nah
Ps. I'm slapping the bag. It's an emergency.
I know where his drugs are but not my pants
so apparantly i made out with 24 santas last night...and an elf...and a stoner
This is getting exciting. I almost wanna turn off all the lights, get some popcorn, and stare at my phone screen to see if she's going to say yes or not
And on a much sadder note, I'm way to drunk for this right now
Randomize
