I miss your penis. And I totally say this as a friend. I just miss it because it's great. You should be very proud of it.
Just downloaded the entire Justin Bieber album sober.. I think you know how I'm doing.
She gave me a bj in her parent's kitchen while I ate the rest of her mom's birthday cake. Fuck. Yes.
my cup is half full, half full of rum.
Found my phone laying in a snow angel outside my apt this morning.
Hne relally is a cite oerfect gome. Nes awddddddddooooome.
The cops caught them pow wowing in the teepee at the entrance of the golf course at 5 am. But were still missing someone.
i asked the cop if we could stop and do a chinese firedrill.... he said no.
These kids are nice. Shrooms make everything so nice.
I'm just gonna go with where the wind takes me. if it takes me to his dick, so be it.
I'm so lazy and tired i just want to cry and fall asleep in a bed of egg mcmuffins.
I think we need to stage an Intervention. Her Instagram is a call for help.
We smoked before the sunrise hike. I ended up eating a banana and singing Circle of Life as the sun rose over the horizon.
He compared my vagina to his favorite T-shirt. I don't know if I should take that as a compliment or not..
I had sex with him and I blame the Doritos
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