I loved tuna sandwiches so much in grade school it was so embarrassing
Everyday all the kids would be like oh grosss whose eating tuunnaa
all i remember is you climbed in a garbage can and said you were trashed
Reason #1 for no sex outdoors: Mosquito bites. Awkward, awkward mosquito bites.
Please stop using the dehumidifier for your weed.
I think he just made me trade sex for my cat.
Fuck your 100 proof Hot Damn. Do you know what 100 proof vomit tastes like? Anger.
I'm glad I get the same reaction from you for cookies and for my naked body
Random question, but did I leave a spoon on your dresser last night?
Here is a brilliant idea passed on from men who have that same regret. WEAR A FUCKING CONDOM ALWAYS.
look on the scale of 1 to the time you hit an old lady with your car chlamydia barely even rates
We went the strip club and out of no where the waitress brings him over a quesadilla and a jäger bomb and says your usual!! He swore he had never been there before
I knew it was on when all she had to say about the handcuffs was 'I really hope these adjust tighter!'
Also. I think I just got sentimental over a nude
Do you ever just feel the storm building inside of you that tells you you're ready for a giant indiscriminate fuckfest?
Stranded. In bathroom stall. No toilet paper. I repeat NO TOILET PAPER! Assistance needed asap. GO! GO! GO!
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