There's a hobo dancing by himself. Is anyone going to ask how he got in the house?
Having sex with her was like reading the Wall Street Journal.
Is it just me, or does Colt McCoy look like Herbie the Dentist from "Rudolph the Red-nosed Reindeer"?
as we were driving back from the frat house he pulled down his pants and convinced me his penis "wanted some air"
I made an oral joke and he laughed... That's when I realized I wasn't Daddy's Little Girl anymore.
I have no idea. I woke up naked on someones toilet locked in the bathroom with two baby kittens.
I wasnt that drunk. Throwing the table off the third story was totally logical.
These fall allergies are really hindering my cocaine habit.
I was just too high to be in rapids man. I just screamed for the entire time I was jostling about.
This american gymnastics guy.... He just messed up. I feel so bad. I just wanna hug him until he stops crying. Not even in a sexual way. I just wanna hug him.
I just had a flashback to the three of us in the bed and me shouting AM I THE BIGGEST OR LITTLEST SPOON?!
He just walked in the house and decided to wake everyone up by yelling "I SHIT MYSELF!" We all thought he was joking....we were all wrong.
Thank you for deleting me from Instagram. Also, I'm carrying your child. Happy new year!
It's like the bat signal. He only texts me when I'm naked.
Dude, putting on underwear straight out of the dryer is the greatest thing ever. It feels like I wrapped my vagina in a warm blanket.
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