Good news! Whoever used this stall at Target earlier...not pregnant!
I've decided through careful research we can out drink any country folk.
just went home with some hot chick. she has posters of the jonas brothers in her room. i basically ran out of the house.
You can now add 30,000 feet to the places where I have puked
You ended at least 6 stories with "and that's why I don't snort coke anymore"
I would invite you but we are high and there is an AK-47. Not your scene.
that's not even the weird part though. he already knew where the bathroom was, he might have been here before..
I just found my coat check number in my underwear.
having someone tell me to "prepare my vagina" is not really something I want to hear..
Just thought to myself "I should practice shotgunning a beer before Wednesday." I don't think my GPA is going to like this semester.
he stopped during sex, told me i smelled like McDonald's and went harder..
my boss just accepted "because it's 4/20" as a legitimate reason to take Friday off
I fucked him on my yoga mat. Then we wake and baked and ate granola. So yes, you could say I found my center.
I would date him. For 1 month. Just so I could say I was a trap queen for 1 month.
You are the epitome of what awesome would taste like.
Randomize
