life just isnt the same w/o real world cancun
Dude someone is playing the piano in the other room while I shit and it's making it really peaceful
After we hooked up, he left the room and no one has seen him since last night. That kid redefined hit it and quit it.
I didn't even realize you were getting that drunk until bam!
is bam when I fell down the stairs or when I threw up standing at the bar?
You refused to get in the cab so we rock paper scissored to decide who walked you home and the fat guy was it. So don't blame your poor hook-up choice on me; it was all you.
Oh you don't have to buy a shower curtain, I stole the one from her bathroom. It has dolphins on it.
let's be real here, you have a beautiful vagina. this kid is a doctors son. that's a remedy for beautiful rich grandkids. he is just trying water his family tree, and make sure he doesn't end up in some piece of shit adult home. go for it.
But he buys me breakfast and goes down on me THATS HARD TO FIND
Remember that night I drank a bunch of vodka, pounded your Jameson because 'you were a pussy', punched you in the face and ran off as fast as my high heels could go? It was just my Russian and Irish sides fighting for genetic dominance
We can't be fuck buddies. You stare into my eyes while we fuck.
tonight were gonna drink champagne and watch girls put themselves in awkward position
About to be a 4Loko vomit fountain in 45 seconds, what color will it be? Animated birds will fly out of me.
i was talking to them for like 5 mins and they were like HEY LETS GET A PICTURE and tequila said it was good idea
Do you realize we were driving someone else’s car and I was holding the wheel while you were driving and sucking my dick. That’s NOT normal
It’s a hundred kinds of wrong to do Jell-O shots at home alone. Right?
I support drinking alone. But Jell-O shots. That’s a game changer.
Randomize
