Well you will be happy to know that aaron carter hit on me
i cant believe u jumped in someones trunk just to get out of talking to me
she went apple picking. why dont we do cute things like that? let's go to a pumpkin patch!
because we're not cute. we're sluts. and sluts don't go apple picking.
something isn't right. i offered to be his sex slave and he declined..
I ended up naked in a pond with you-know-who and your saying your a good babysitter? Dick.
By the way anyone who is willing to be in the film while tripping gets free shrooms.
No it's ok I've been talking to the girl at the Chinese restaurant about your dick for the last 20 minutes. I haven't mentioned your name but she thinks she knows you.
I just figured out the time exactly by how many shots and beers that I've had since this morning. I either have a terrible problem, or a great solution.
I mean, "boo" isn't the appropriate response to someone dying...
Spending Thanksgiving making a swinging profile brings the day to a whole new level...
Is it okay to mention my ambition to become a supervillian and kill all humans on a first date, or is that a second date discussion?
One less thong to worry about.
One less *thing! But probably that too.
We put you in the box and you started to cry, that's how high you were.
I just smoked weed out of a tomahawk, then chased an armadillo with said tomahawk, I love my life.
he's drunk and referred to his shoes as foot condoms
Randomize
