dude i was like still drunk, taking pictures of her while she was naked and asleep and she woke up
haha what'd she say
i don't know man, something about us dating. but i never talked to her sober so i said i was making breakfast and snuck out of her house. close calls man WTF
dude i dnt kno how, but i think theres a tampon in my butt
I'm watching Terminator eating a jar of marshmallow fluff. Trust me, you are not fat.
Just got done reading an 11 page essay for class. Took me three fucking days and the only thing I have highlighted is the name "Alexander Cockburn"
what has two thumbs and is going to bang you boss on monday?
Ive been using palmolive to shower with for he last week, dont tell me about not having money. Im heading to the bar r u going.
you woke me up just to tell me that I was beautiful in every way possible. Then you proceeded to fall asleep with your mouth on my boob.
He referred to his cock as "The cock" like it was third party or something.
I found a body half wedged into my bedroom wall this morning. How do I explain THIS to the carpenters?
I knew this night was headed for bad when I was drinking cherry bombs out of a sippy cup in the shower
You jumped into so many bushes for no reason
if you arent using your penis to save lives, then what good is it?
Preface: Im drunk. But i think id make a good assasin. That is all.
You "drove" the computer chair around the party for a good fifteen minutes. you would crash into things, freak out, and yell for an ambulance.
It was a glorious ass. He has amazing hands. I want to fuck him until he can't do math anymore.
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