Wait. When you mean sick you mean a cold sick right ? not something else.
Hey when I die alone will you come by often enough so that my cats don’t eat my face?
He looked at me like he has never had a girl throw up on him before.
I just got asked if I have a rule for sleeping with people. Like they have to buy me dinner first etc...
On that note, do I have a rule?
Yo, if someone calls you asking for John Stamos, just go with it.
She's using our floating beer pong table as an air mattress to sleep on.
I tried to interpretive dance to Candy Shop to stop the awkwardness.
I'm serious. My alarm label is "BAR TABS" as motivation for me to wake up in the morning and go to work.
Speaking of gay, some dude in a life vest just goes, we should pull our dicks out! To larry. Were leaving now. I saw penis
sometimes, you gotta take him by the hands like tails took sonic, and fly him into the bedroom.
Did I really just send a work email with cum instead of come? feck me
You had sex with him AND his man bun. Like not just him but also the bun.
I will never use my dick in anger. With great dick comes great responsibility
She was on top, but I lost her at "alright, you look like predator."
I WANNA SUCK HIS DICK ON A BOAT
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