Sexting assembly today. Fuck yes
I bet him anal if they won...the one time Detroit decides to win, it had to be this week
this is really not the time to pretend we have morals
I just noticed that my shirt smells like coffee after eating out a Barista
My mail consisted of a box of dildos and christmas card from grandma.
I think she was eating a cup of ramen noodles while we banged, or had a seizure
I woke up with her dog licking the wedding cake out of my ear and her sister finishing our Jaeger
I drank butter last night, who am I to judge?
I found out his moms name, maiden name, profession, and office location, his dads name and profession, his home phone, picture of their house, all of his work profiles, and the cost of their house. All I'm trying to do is find his damn twitter
he started frosting cupcakes and licking the mini-spatula realllllly deliberately and i don't know if i'm more attracted to him or the cupcakes
So my new thing apparently is getting wasted, showing people my slytherin socks and convincing them I'm slytherin..because why not
I left my Bacardi and dignity in your freezer. Will come get it later.
just bought safety googles to wear so he can cum on my face and not in my eye. SAFETY FIRST!
She threw her burger out the car window last night. My vegan neighbors were not pleased but I’m pretty sure I saw a for sale sign go up on their lawn so I owe her one.
Bahahah I should. I’m the free range drunk girl who should clearly not be free range because who knows what kind of fuckery I would get into
Randomize
