Ana's brother is visiting for the wknd. He came back to our place last night drunk to find me passed out naked it in the shower with the water still running. I was still drunk. We decided it was a good idea to have sex and sleep on the bathroom floor. Woke up this morning spooning and using my towel as a pillow.
He is drunkenly eating my teddy grahms and making little growling noises as he bites the head off of each one.
He was crying to my sister about feeling like a bad person. Then he groped my breasts.
woke up with ski boots on and a kayak in my room... birthday successful? i'd say so
You tired to make Beefaroni in the Mr. Coffee machine.
I've thrown up so many times in the third floor bathroom of Baldwin that they should probably just go ahead and name it after me.
haha the sad thing is i can't decide whats worse. the fact that you're drunk judging a science fair or the fact that i'm really proud of you for it.
I was so drunk. I apparently did a flip over the balcony using it as monkey bars. Ya I hurt a bit today
He stood up, threw the bag of bud between me and Tory, yelled "Fight" and then ran upstairs for the pizza
The woman in the hospital bed next to me just got diagnosed with flea bites on her vag.
Whaaaaaat? No way.
Now a discussion of pigs vs. dog as carrier.
You will go out on a boat of flames filled with honor, sarcasm, and assholery, let me assure you.
You invited the cop in for a "Celebrity shot"
Wall of shame with a backpack full of beer bottles, cowboy hat in hand, and a handlebar mustache. I was applauded by a passing car
I'm at a first year old's birthday party and a midget dressed as a cop just showed up. Word is we're going to toss and bowl with him. Updates to come.
Actually new year, new me. I haven’t had sex yet so technically I’ve been a virgin all year.
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