im pretty sure that there was a mint leaf in my poop this morning. i love mojito season.
I've been reduced to Capt. Morgan and Golden Girls reruns. Ugh.
I just walked by a homeless man reading the money section of USA Today...
i am officially better prepared for a hangover tomorrow than i was for christmas.
i saw her thong sticking out from across the bar...that was my cue
maybe you should start leaving anonymous bottles of booze on his doorstep with love notes attatched. that always gets me.
Just made a photo collage of the girls I've hooked up with this summer. I'm patting myself on my back right now
I don't know what happened to get you in this mentality. This time last year your were ass up on a hotel bathroom counter getting licked by a stranger.
And then she banged "the first Italian rapper"
he just asked if we wanted to go to an arts and crats club with him tomorrow. every day it becomes harder for me to defend his sexuality
I swear she hasnt shaved since the last time we hooked up 5 months ago
He lit a candle for the mood and ended up lighting my hair on fire while we were hooking up...moodkiller
She used to be cute, back when we were young.
Oh well, so were platform jellies. Shit changes.
He got me to hold his phone, wallet, keys and pants while he hooked up with another girl.
enjoying your night?
do dogs like to salsa?
I dont know if that answers my question or not
Randomize
