I just walked into the kitchen and my dad was having this uber serious convo
With himself
i hope your v-card owns a pair of floaties
she always made me post sex PB&Js it was like fucking a trashier Martha Stewart
using the left over highlighters from the blacklight party to study for finals. feeling the need to write insert penis here on my econ notes.
When I came in she was screaming "boundaries!" at the cat because it was trying to eat her pizza rolls.
You hit on my mom and then passed out in the kiddie pool.
I woke up with the Dorothy costume at my ankles, both sparkly red shoes on, and clutching ToTo....we're not in Kansas anymore, dude
Nah, just ran around, pinned random men to walls, bit their lips of and booked it.
You got a write up and a first aid award all in the same night. The don was impressed!
I don't know. Sometimes you can be a wild card with your emotions. Mostly the emotion known as anger.
He told me I'm a small core of pure evil wrapped up in sweetness, gold, and puppies. He gets me.
That is beautiful
Don't mention it
Just endorse me for cunnilingus on LinkedIn
Shut up. The only friend I need in life is Jim Beam because life is meaningless.
Greattt I just sexted my dad trying to write u back
Apparently I gave a guy a hand job on the dance floor. ON THE DANCE FLOOR.
Randomize
