We were chasing that deer in the quad and next thing I remember I woke up in my RAs bed. I'm probably in trouble.
I mean she's dancing like an epileptic patato and i'd like to slap her
doing shots has become such a natural thing to me that i just instinctively swallowed listerine
Are they hot? And are the slutty? These are my concerns for any wedding. You say yes, and yes, I will be your best man
Just heard a guy on the phone saying " ya ill buy the eight ball " then came to my register to ask what asile the sugar substitute is on.
no i brought the cat to the bar. I got a weird look when I walked in but now everyone loves her.
It was either the harsh truths I was divulging or the liquor..... But either way, I made mom puke
I just realized that the thing that smelled like an electrical fire in my house was me.
He asked if I had feelings for him while I was lying naked on the floor vomiting into a trashcan as he held my hair and fed me Pringles.
Just got a handjob from a 19 year old in front of the Parthenon. The Greek god of debauchery would be proud.
I was picked up from his hotel room at 5 a.m. and came home with my panties and jäger in a McDonald's bag so the desk attendant wouldn't judge me. This is what single at 25 is about.
For dinner, I'm having saltines, canned whipped cream, and beer. Are we sure I'm responsible enough for home ownership?
It threw me off a little. I had to take a moment and ask myself, "Is he really fingering me in his mom's kitchen while I eat a whopper?"
I just need to find someone whose kink is financial submission.
For one week of my life every time I pull my cock out I want the Jurassic Park theme music to start playing.
Randomize
