I want to stick my p in your. b.
I created a new tequila drink. it is a mix of excitement and fear instilled in innocent people.
Dude you just kept yelling "She was my first asain!" right in front of her.
I hate when people uglier than me have girlfriends
he bonged a 1/5 of jack and came back an hour later blacked out with a legitimate chicago firemans helmet
left comments onEVRY SINGLE1of my posts n status updates.Im done dating freshmen
I threw up red last night... I wanted to pinch myself because it wasn't green.
My mom just used the words "ice cunt". It may be an interesting day afterall.
You layed on my kitchen floor with a pile of m&ms at your crotch, said "your lightbulb don't match, is that one new?"
there were like 150 questions AFTER the application. you'd think for a store that has dick molding kits it'd be a joke
He sang nursery rhymes to my vagina to get me to have sex with him..
It'll just be like "PENIS HERE". In case you get lost.
i'm going as a slutty football player, and all night i'll drunkily whisper "id love to catch your balls." into random strangers ears.
Sorry bud. Having a shitty day because the GF broke up with my wife and I. We really liked her too
We're both fucking guys named Frank. Our friendship was meant to be.
Randomize
