I must say, I don't like the act of throwing up, but the feeling after is quite delightful
Approach what situation? Look, I dunno if you think I'm like some lezbo cheetah waitin in some shrubs to pounce on you the second I see you, but I'm not!
well, everyone in my office is getting a nice laugh right now. But seriously... please delete my number
They said an hour before I even see a doctor...and they noticed the shots tally on my arm.
Just don't let me fall on anything that can be broken. Unless its a dick
I think he is probably a psycho that will eventually murder me but i mean the sex last time was AWESOME.
Wear whatever you want, I'm wearing ass-less chaps and a sombrero
I'm gonna face reality, tomorrow morning is not on my hungover agenda.
I'm seeing double so when I get home can we have a threesome?
We were just sitting together and this guy walks up to us and says, "you ladies are drinking too slow", puts a 5 dollar bill on the table and just leaves the bar. Helloooo Taco Bell
They finally caught us and banned us forever, but it was worth it because we didn't have to pay for light bulbs for at least 3 years.
So you stole light bulbs, from your favorite bar, and got banned, and you're happy?
Look we couldnt pay for light bulbs and ramen, and you can't eat light bulbs or cook in the dark. Win - win.
And then you refused to pee in anything but a sink
Do you remember ripping my condom off last night while yelling "I DEMAND MY MEAT RAW" like a Viking?
I think I accidentally invented a religion.
You tried to fight someone about spaghetti o’s?
That hungover.
OMG LOOK AT THAT PIECE OF MAN
I haven’t trained for this.
Randomize
