sorry probably not gonna make it :( kinda tied up right now
sad face, r u gay?... wait like really tied up?
:)
You threw up in a Dixie cup last night. Oddly, you just gained major points in my book for that.
When we woke up, I asked if we could play "what does your name rhyme with".....he said 'bave' thank god it was easy
i was picked up off the floor by a stripper, if thats not a new life low then i dont know what is.
We walked in and they were fucking to Somewhere Over the Rainbow... I need a new roommate.
do you remember waking up from your blackout, kissing me ever so softly on the stomach, and saying "i love you bro. so much," then passing back out?
After I threw him out he walked down the street peeing in stride. I almost wanted to let him back in.
He just "revenge puked" on her kid. I think we'll be leaving soon.
Yeah well tell that to drunk me. She seems to have no standards or gender preference.
She keeps telling me I can't keep feeding the dog my food. I gave half the weed brownie to the dog and half to me. I just want it to taste the greatness of cheezits like I am.
Its like no one cares im drunk naked wet and ready to throw myself at some one hold on i found a solution to my problems
I love pie. Pie understands me and the spatula
I want your cock.
All we are is dust in the wiiiiiiinnnnnnnnnnd
There are far too many naked dudes in your apartment, and they aren't even watching porn. I mean seriously, they've got the Lion King on.
He was tripping his balls off and kept aggressively saying SIT ON MY FACE. 5 hours and countless orgasms later I've decided I must never let this man go.
Why r u in my phone under "the last survivor"?
Randomize
