I thought I was at a rave until the paramedics started chasing me. You win again tequila.
The walk of shame has never felt more glorious... I think it's the somberero
my mothers day present is going to be not puking at the table during brunch
That reminds me...we need to get swords
if i die of alcohol poisoning tonight, just know i kinda expected it and totally deserved it
Im in a bar and I just invented a scrabble drinking game. People are cheering. It's like the universe has aligned itself.
Well regardless of which drugs we choose to do tonight until four in the morning, we are having a wii bowling championship. So choose carefully.
Just found my shirt from Saturday, got an automatic contact buzz.
She's the second Ashley to meet and blow me in the same night. Sensing a trend.
Turns out lunch break sex with someone you cant stand being around for any amount of time just makes you wish you had gone to get tacos like you originally planed.
The only pictures I have are of me being stoned or me looking like a man, which do you prefer?
she's an english major so her sexts are something i look forward to
You ninja crawled over five sleeping guys to get in my room at 6 in the morning to wake me up for sex
...and I think that may just be my favorite moment in our fuckbuddyship
i put frozen meatballs in my drink thinking they were ice cubes and I'm vegetarian wtf
I'm dancing with a sandwich I just made cause I'm so happy how delicious it tastes, that high haha
Randomize
