To answer your question of whether I "went back," tits just informed me I was kicked out for falling off my barstool and passing out on the floor...
In hindsight maybe we should have moved his homework instead of playing quarters on top of it.
i just keep taking vicodin and supergluing random shit
He wanted a handjob during a John Wayne movie. I just couldn't find it in my heart to disrespect that man. John Wayne that is.
on the brightside, the semester can only get better from getting a dui at 8 am on the first day.
your optimism is becoming unhealthy
We decided to have a girls night of four lokos, three of us cried and the other puked
This shit I'm taking feels like I've eaten every burrito in the world and chased that with an aquarium of hot sauce.
you were upstairs in your room looking out your window and saw him puking in your bushes outside. you then proceeded to open the window and sing Come To My Window
don't mind me. just hanging out in this cool air conditioned Babies R Us until the liquor store next door opens.
Please stop using me as a reference for bail bondsmen.
New York City is dangerous when the only bars you go to are the ones that have 'open' in front
I didn't think four grown drunk men could cuddle on a twin size bed, but we found a way.
Drunk yet?
Well I just did the worm on an empty dance floor while the bridesmaids were serving cake. You tell me.
He is more interested in finding his sweater than he is in having sex with me. It better be a great fucking sweater.
So you broke your ribs while fucking? Dude you just got about 25% hotter.
Randomize
