five shots of tequila, anal and 3 cigarettes. not my best idea on a saturday afternoon.
We all know the best way to start a relationship is greeting while at least one of you are intoxicated, dual facebook stalking, and a two week long game of 20 questions via texts to 'really' get to know each other. In that order.
I wouldn't have it any other way. It's like a fairy tale!
I've replaced the bottom of the food pyramid with alcohol.
I will give you vagina for bag of have'a corn chips.
I told him to show me what he was made of and he came on my face. law students are so technical.
We always say that. And then its 4am and someone is screaming at strippers.
My dry heaving is complicating my ability to speak.
Did I tell you I had a charge show up for $36 on a credit card I haven't used in 6 months from Wild Wings? It was that night we slept across the street from the bar.
I would have thought, as two of my best friends, you girls could have cought me as I fell out of the shower. There are so many bruises.
You almost make it sound as if getting an education to further your career is more important than beer and tacos.
You know you need to take better care of yourself when shaving reminds you of sheep shearing...
im half tempted just to scoot up to him and whisper "I'm not wearing underwear" but idk if thats a heartfelt apology
I ripped off the screen and literally supermaned through my bedroom window. That wasted
I just masturbated while watching Say Yes to the Dress
This is what my life has come to
Granted every 20 shifts of working there you seem to be on par to receive some sort of racy satisfying sexual encounter which money can’t buy
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