we convinced you the moon was a planet...again
No joke. Last we saw of him he was naked and dragging that stupid goat into the bushes.
Apparently my downstairs neighbors don't much appreciate it when I do drunk aerobics at 3am on a Wednesday...
sick fucks of a feather flock together
Went to the elf storage building to help him get his old dresser. Found his brother's stash in the drawer and ended up passed out w him on the mattress in there instead.
We got hammered last night and I woke up this morning with texts from 'iron maiden chick.' wtf?
Last night he ate BBQ Pringles out of my boobs...I feel like it was moderately productive
Someone broke in while we were at the bars, window is shattered but nothing got taken
Noone broke in, matt tried to pull a tyrese and punch through the window... were at the hospital.
Woke up eating a pickle on the bathroom floor this morning in some random guys sweat pants.
ok so i took my anxiety medication and i'm eating junior mints and i think my vagina will be ok
I found a loose wire in my thermostat. Couldn't find the pliers, so I used a nipple clamp to fix it.
I just found a samari sword in the couch. I'm about to take like 5 shots and pretend to be captain jack sparrow
I choose my mates solely based on size and ability. No cuddles. No sleep overs. Definitely no repeats.
I rewired his car so that every time he hits the gas the horn and the OnStar turn on every time he hits the brake the panic alarm goes off.
I’d say they were worth it. He screamed “your tits are fanfuckingtastic!”while he was cumming
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