what ever happened to devon sawa?
fuck...who knows?
i'm really worried about him.
Steve is enlightening me on how and why u put gerbils up your ass
You know your in college when you decide house chores with games of beer pong...
Apparently 151 is to me what spinach is to popeye.
you're in nursing school, now tell me what to do about a burned clit.
I just ate nachos topless with a fork. Live with meeee
He painted his chest for the game... I just fucked an exclamation point.
You have no idea how much I'm praying for my moms side of the family's infertility right now
She is high at the bar - she thinks the bottle of frangelico is aunt jemima telling her to stop doing drugs.
Next person that gets my dog drunk is paying to have my carpet cleaned. I am tired of getting up to pee and stepping in dog barf.
Seriously. Texted me 4 times and that didn't wake me up so he nicely called and left a voicemail saying he WOULD call me 8 times. So when he called back I answered.
THIS IS WHY I WENT TO SCHOOL FOR TO BE A COSMETOLOGIST TO HELP MY EX BOYFRIENDS CURRENT GIRLFRIEND BE MILDLY ATTRACTIVE... Everything DOES happen for a reason
yeah that bottle of rum is only the second thing I want that kid to be pulling out of his pants
In the event that Ian's ex wife asks you, tell her I'm sweet snd innocent. No reason.
There's hope in those eyes, for a better tomorrow or more cocaine, we may never know, but there's hope.
Randomize
