Friends don't let friends fuck ugly girls. WALK AWAY FROM HER!
So you really shouldn't go around telling people you're fireproof
It's gotten to the point where NOT peeing in the sink feels strange and uncomfortable.
So about class tomorrow..... i,ll be there. But I may be still a bit drink and wearing a suit. I'll explain when I get there.
Just violated the laws of fuck-buddyship and talked to him about my personal life. I don't like it.
i get of class at 4. it takes me 17 minutes to walk home and 3 to load a bowl. thank you, priority registration.
so why was i the only one who woke up with ham stuck to my ass?
Your friends turned off our power in the basement and when we went to turn it back on I got sprayed in the face with a fire extinguisher. FYI.
Then you shook your fists at the sky and explained to us that losing a sneeze is like losing an orgasm
So neither of us had a dollar bill and we couldnt find a straw so we spent all nite doing coke through penne pasta
I thought i lost my bra, but when i went back to help clean it was hanging up on the wall
She had like a side ponytail and hoop earrings though. And legwarmers. Like a horrible 80s nightmare. Don't drink and dream, dude.
I had no idea he had such passive aggressive animalistic tendencies. This is the human equivalent of peeing on someone.
It's something I can't competently describe without making sex sounds.
I do not recommend playing football on LSD like at all
Randomize
