is this the only place in the world where you can get shot on one side of town, and have to stop for cows crossing the street on the other side?
I'm going to get a baby outfit made and send it to her that says: "My husband fucked his subordinate and all I got was another baby".
i asked him how he could stand the smell of skunk. his answer was "it smells like good weed"...
The stories of what you did in Cuba got home before you.
the girl next to me in class is drinking a margarita out of a slurpee cup. i know your going to ask how i know its a margarita and the answer is i can smell the tequila. i never want to leave this place
He's slept with 25.5 people. Wtf is a half?
Last time I saw him the sun was coming up and he was asleep in the student wellness parking lot. For some reason people were peeing on him.
I never thought I'd say this but my vagina is taking a serious break for awhile
You were convinced you would hurt my car if you opened the door. Then you barfed in the pretzle bucket Peter gave you
i feel like when you brought up the possibility of you getting pregnant the sexting is over
This love triangle bullshit is getting out of hand. It's now a love polygon and I want out
So unmotivated today.
Who am I kidding. So unmotivated this decade.
Rebounding with her sister was the best idea i ever had.
This is the fourth guy that I've broken in to gay sex. How the hell do they find me?
Positive reviews on angieslist?
Our son just found our secret Sex Dungeon that is no longer hidden in our basement. He brought his Xbox and the TV down there he is currently sitting in the sex swing playing video games. What do I do?
Randomize
