can you sing with all the voices of the mountain? can you paint with al the colors of the windddd
wasted?
im pocohantasssss
she asked me if I wanted a handjob on the haunted mansion ride at Disney. was I suposed to say no?
what has two thumbs and is going to bang you boss on monday?
we're making bets on your personal life
He was banging holes in the kitchen wall with pots. They tried to pull him away but only managed to pants him. He kept "drumming".
Slurping strawberries throug a straw. It feels like the kool-aid man is coming in my mouth.
well, duh, but it's like you don't even want to see me masturbate with a wine bottle.
Come part with me. By you sleep! No fun. Idek feelings Sorry for your life.
He just showed up with a bottle of wild turkey a half a can of coke and some marshmallows yelling "gobble gobble bitches" my roommates hate my cousin
he forgot we were at my place and not his so he tried kicking me out of my own apartment by saying "so, you can go whenever you want...."
I didn't want to see any of his nipples and now I've seen all three. Thanks.
id like to think im the only pot dealing prostitute that is also an ordained minister. but maybe not. what a time to be alive
Note to self:A blacklight toga party at a frat house is a bad idea. Some things cannot be unseen
Dude... the time we have in life to be young and trivial is so incredibly short. I think we should drink tonight.
Its like people have to train for months before they try and drink with us and survive...
Randomize
