my mom walked in on my vaccuming.......i wasnt vaccumming
spencer pratt says his family invinted chess
that kid is like the al gore of hollywood.
Yet again my drunken self has managed to find his way into the middle of nowhere with no shoes or recollection of what happened last night.
Then I guess you don't remember me driving you there after you tried making out with my girlfriend, dipshit.
We lost the cork forthe wine, so we used a tampon as a replacement. I never loves tampons so much
the pic of her and her boyfriend fell off the wall as we were fucking.
Well he told me I'd never be a wizard, and so I responded with you'll never have a big penis. After that we both just sat there and cried.
planned ethnic drinking holidays while bored at work thru next may. I don't suppose you have any scots or russian in you?
I mean, yeah, she was cheating on me but I've been fucking her brother. My secret relationship trumps her secret relationship.
I think we need to teach you what straight means again
How was the birthday sex?
Shit got outta hand. Honestly I think even my STDs have STDs.
We let 3 boys take us home and then we woke up in the middle of the night, stole all the coozies out of the house, a loaf of bread, a case of water, a pair of shorts, called a cab, and went home.
Get the fuck back here. Your brother taped bottle rockets to the front of his scooter and is bombing around screaming, "Rest in peace, Goose!"
well if they don't get here soon...no fuck it, I'm going to the strip club.
Don't worry you weren't as drunk as you thought. You only fell 4 times.
So, if you were also having sex around 11pm, then we were legitimately being penetrated at the exact same time. That is amazing. We are soul sisters.
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