if you like me you must not know who I am
his pokemon pajamas? the fact that he was proud of the stretchmarks on his arms? or finding out he has a daughter that went to high school with us? ...you tell me what was the dealbreaker
I got my period while he was fingering me , I knew it because I never get that wet.
Did u at least say sorry?
i crashed through a building. if that counts then yes, i went out with a bang.
we found a loaf of bread in my bathroom i believe its yours. sorry i took a shower before we noticed so it might be soggy
I was trying to be really smart and save 10 dollars for each cab there and back. ...so I ripped a $20 dollar bill in half.
I poured myself a glass of chocolate chips at some point during the evening.
Sorry about that whole "setting your deck on fire" thing.
Yes, i finally made it. but let me tell you...i can smell myself right now in class right now, this scent is called alcoholism.
i want to platonically make out with them, platonically. in the back of this minivan
So who left their underwear on a lamppost in my aunt's backyard
you're welcome to come here, except my beds from ikea so it's more unstable than i am
im so drunk that this cat is mothering me. aggressively
Did we kick in my basement door last night?
Yes. I think you actually bought tennis shoes specifically for that application.
So many questions...the two most important are, where the fuck is my booze and how did you even get the couch through the door?
Randomize
