I think it's safe to say that I made out with the entire msu campus this weekend
Bar closing I am hiding in the bathroom. do you think anyone will find me?
With such a small dick you'd think he'd try to make up for it with some sort of personality.
Seriously, stop peeing all over the toilet seat. It looks like movie theatre butter.
she said my body looked tiny like it was a bad thing and then didn't even mention how great my tits look. it's like we're not even friends.
He introduced himself to me as "the gayest gay who ever gayed." I like him already.
But for future reference, it might help your game if you don't tell the girl you're trying to get on your dick that she's "not the worst thing you've ever seen"
They told you that you couldn't fit in the dryer. Man, did they eat their words. You did brake the door though.
I do remember telling her that I was about to pass out soon and then hiding my pants under my bed so she couldn't take my wallet even drunk I'm thinking ahead
THERE IS NOT ENOUGH CAPSLOCK IN THE HISTORY OF THE WORLD TO EXPRESS MY CURRENT STATE OF WHAT THE FUCK JUST HAPPENED
He tried to puke in the 14th hole and when I told him to stop he started chanting "hole in one hole in one"
My jeans are ripped and her glitter was all over me.. My walk of shame looked like I fucked a unicorn last night
although steph and I had 3 bottles of wine by that point and watched an opera that featured a black dildo so anything was possible really
I just came so hard my vision went blurry. I can only hope one day I'll find a man that can accomplish what my left hand does on a tri-daily basis.
I used to shoot steroids in my ass but for a totally different reason
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