sorry about last night, sometimes people just get drunk and have sex witht heir friends
I know, I was there.
i feel like im playing gay clue. i have to figure out where i am, who took me home, and what he put in me
It's an acquired taste. Like keystone. Or caviar.
I just realized my mom and I make the same noises when we have sex. Fuck.
Her thighs are so strong. I thought my head was gonna get crushed when I was eating her out
Did I crawl through the hotel lobby all the way to our room?
just woke up to a get well card i wrote myself when i was drunk. it was by the advil. i am a cocky bitch.
He's going to regret telling me he doesn't care if i shave or not...
I got Pilsbury cinnamon rolls for us to have tomorrow, but I don't have the willpower to leave them in my fridge overnight, so I am eating them all and getting us more in the morning
I love you more by the minute
It's cuz all she eats is salt lick, human souls, and fast food
PENIS EMOJIS WOULD MAKE MY LIFE SO MUCH EASIER GAH WHY DOES THE WORLD HATE ME
Should I tell him how he got the bruise on his ass or just enjoy his theories?
You think your roommate is bad? The guy they paired me with is such a nerd, his very presence at a party blocks every cock in the room.
he was really really nice, and I did coke off of his dong that night too
Just made my first drink, took 2 sips feel like god
Randomize
