i just masturbated with purell and my dick burns and smells like a hospital
just used a paint mixing cup as a shot glass. thank u art school.
i wish we had morning classes together so we can spike our coffee.
Just had to explain my "wine me. Dine me. Sixty-nine me" key chain to my grandma...she took it surprisingly well.
i licked icing off his dick. in front of his sister.
so exactly what is concert sex etiquette? Before, during or after???
all of the above
Btw, do you want me to fix this with a box of wine and a chick flick or is this more of a 'lets head to the strip club' problem? I'm just trying to analyze the emotional depth of the situation.
I was walking around the party holding a dog on my shoulder like it was a parrot
I remember looking at his body and thinking wow you have a body sculpted by Jesus himself. Still not sure if I said that out loud or not
Well shit, I would've slept with him if I knew he was gonna be in the draft.
Fuck I forgot the furry convention was this weekend and now I'm downtown. Way too high for this shit.
I paper cut my nipple reading mail topless
someone commented on last weekends photos impressed that so many homeless people wanted to take pictures with us. weird that those "homeless people" are our friends... right?
When I went to pick up Adam from the train station, I found him passed out, covered in gold paint and wrapped in a red blanket. someone had glued a gaudy green rhinestone to his forehead. He looked homeless.
Tonights mission: get trashed, smoke a bowl on top of the silo, get some dick. Not necessarily in that order.
Randomize
