Don't forget I'm 20 now
I liked you more when you were 19
i just looked at my contacts and realized i saved the pizza hut girl's number as "fckucin pizza" the other night.
I'm like a warm blanket that has sex with you
i woke up to find out i shared my bed with a full, open can of natty light last night and didnt spill it. then i drank it for breakfast.
Corey Haim died. 80's me is so sad
I think need to divide my DVD collection into "movies I've seen" and "movies I've only seen during sex"
Has now officially visited every ER in this city in one semester.
literally overdrew my bank account at 3 in the morning to eat subway with 7 sherriffs.
Jusy read on a science page that squeezing boobs can prevent cancer cells from forming in them, youre welcome.
Well watching will be involved...it'll just most likely be of me licking your penis instead of me trying to understand how Hans Solo goes up against the Galactic Empire...
I had a drinkin contest with a person that didnt exsist, fuck withdrawl day
Hold on are you sure that we dont have another roommate?
Yes.
Its honestly only a matter of time before I punch him in the face... I'll try to control myself until you guys break up
The not so cute guy next to me made me play Kid Rock on the jukebox but I'm a big believer in free drinks so I obliged.
Grandpa just whipped it out and started pissing on the way to the game stuck in traffic. I saw EVERYTHING. :(
I flushed a potato down the toilet so now we have to live in a hotel.
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