It's a line of coke at 10 a.m. kind of Saturday. Don't be a pussy about life.
Half my make-up was stuck to his thigh where I'd fallen asleep after the blowjob.
Should you consider yourself out of control when everyone at the party is cheering you on while you're puking, and on the last heave you act like you're rolling dice right before the finale???
i have 90 minutes to kick this food poisoning or josh's first experience with buttsex will be his last
Drinking vodka straight out of a beer bottle because I don't want to be judged. Not my best idea and not my worst.
I came to the party for him. I don't know where he went, but I mentioned being hungry and his housemate brought me a huge tupperware container of berry cobbler. I think I'll stay.
Just watched my first Christmas porn of the year. Def have the spirit now
Adulthood is weird i just cleared a check larger than my gross income from 2011 but i also just did coke during my lunch break
It was just a matte of pubes and mustard.
She just walked out of her bedroom naked and asked me to help put her diaper on. Yeah, that pretty much sums up the last 24 hours...
I'm just saying, if you haven't been dropped off at a Wawa at 5:30 in the morning by 3 cop cars, you're missing out
She's just a lonely cunt and i hope she stays that way for the rest of her fucking life.
This seems like an over reaction to someone eating your fries.
WHAT THE FUCK DREAM ME
I'M GONNA PUNCH THAT BITCH THE FUCK DID SHE THINK SHE WAS DOIN
There's even glitter on my cock...
The abomination is in progress. At least one barista side eyed me and the other has fear in her eyes
Randomize
