I Just realized that having a picture folder that says "not for mom" may give off the wrong impression to wondering eyes
both roomates are passed out on the floor. I feel like I'm missing out on crucial bonding time by sleeping in my bed.
just told my mom that i'm having a bad day and she responded with "maybe you should pour yourself a nice drink". good to know that my parents support my future of alcoholism
fuck that im pissed. when I come back im ripping forskin off.
he climbed up to our party on the 2nd floor balcony and then pulled a glass mug and a beer from his knapsack. these freshmen are intense
wanna go with us to feed the ducks bread soaked in vodka?
how could i say no?
Nothing good has ever or will ever come from 50 cent beers at the bowling alley..
You're making her cookies in enchange for knitting lessons. You will die a virgin.
He pissed on a police station. Then expected to not be arrested. Sounds accurate.
The landlord wasn't even off the porch yet and she was packing a bowl, I can't imagine a better best friend
Apparently she "missed me" and the only logical solution was to fuck my brother.
But I put cranberries and apples in my wine so it's festive drinking not suicidal drinking
I just got wasted for $3.50. My life can't get any better.
Someone needs to get Mark off the roof. I told you that he doesn’t shut up about ancient Egypt if you give him henny.
He ate me out in a golf cart while I watched the sunset. You are so right, golf skirts do provide amazing access.
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