ok i said sorry. what else do you want?
100 blowjobs
cant believe you said you would bone perez hilton
i said paris hilton
thats even worse
I wish there was a facebook app that filtered my notifications to show only the ones having to do with people who'll fuck me.
its like think what a normal person would think but completely the opposite.
I have now ridden the bus with a ninja, a samurai and Jesus. Who says the bus is for losers.
she used her cellphone as a light to find my clit under the sheets. worst.lesbian.ever.
Well if it makes you feel any better I threw up at Roadhouse. And then on the way to the train. And then in a water fountain. And then in a plastic bag on the train.
There are eight sets of guys I've made out with who have the same name. It's like noah's ark in my mouth.
YOU CANT FOOL THE TOILET
After tacos, we're chasing women.
Cant leave im designed bacon maker you come here
my one night stand just gave me money "to buy a better vibrator" tis the season
Gave her a puke bucket just in case. She filled the bottom of it with tears. Super sad. Although I am super proud she didn't puke. That was a lot of Fireball.
Mmm vodka always tastes better when i know i have work at 8am
OF COURSE I FUCKED HIM! Did you not read the part about him having red and green Christmas condoms?
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